I Just Want You To Know Who I Am
by A Black Star
Summary: OneshotSongfic Goo Goo Dolls's Iris It's the summer after Harry's 6th year, and as he lays in bed with Ginny Wealsey in his arms, he thinks about his life, what's going on, and how on one really knows who he is, then finally makes his decision


Disclaimer: I do not own any characters mentioned, only the plot. Neither do I own the song, actually called "Iris" which is by the Goo Goo Dolls, and therefore belongs to them.

_Song Lyrics_

**Change In Time**

* * *

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

'_Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll every be_

_And I don't wanna go home right now_

He had known that he had to let her go. He couldn't risk her getting hurt; not her, not his Ginny. She meant too much, he loved her too much. And at that moment, as Harry sat on the swing at the play park near to number 4 Privet Drive, he would have given anything to just be able to touch her, to hold her. He felt like, even though he was so far away, she would feel it if he reached out next to him and grabbed the spot where, in his imagination, she sat. Being with her was like being in heaven, and it seemed that was the only way he would ever be able to be close to heaven. It was getting late, and Harry could see Dudley making his way home on the other side of the park, but Harry didn't want to go back. Not yet. Let the Dursley's attempt to do what they pleased, but he was only there for two nights, then Ron and Hermione were coming for him, and then he was gone, forever.

**Three Days Later**

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_When sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

Harry lay on his bed at the Weasley's house, his petite red-headed love in his arms. Mr. Weasley was at work; Mrs. Weasley was out shopping and visiting the twins at their shop for dinner; and Hermione and Ron were off doing Merlin knows what. He knew he shouldn't have, but he couldn't help himself. She was so near to him, she was so beautiful, she was so enticing. He couldn't help but to kiss her. He couldn't help but to take her up to his room. He couldn't help but to make love to her. He couldn't help it. He couldn't see the future then, all he had was the moment, and he could taste it, just as he could taste her. When she was near it was like he couldn't breathe the air around them, all he could breathe was her life, the incredible aura she carried with her, her lovely presence. Sooner or later, everything would be over. When he was doing what he had done he knew that eventually it would all be gone; their time together, their kissing, their loving, this war, life, eventually it would all end. But all that he cared about is that he didn't have to miss her that night, that he could be with her at that moment, that point in time. They were together, and that was all he cared about.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

'_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

Harry didn't want the publicity he always seemed to receive. He didn't want people poking and prying into his private life, he didn't want them to see how he truly felt, who he truly was. They wouldn't have understood even if they did see. They didn't know what it was like, to have his life, his sorrows, his love. They didn't know what it was like to lose damn near everyone who ever came close to you. It seemed like everything was made to be broken. His life was broken. His heart was broken. The marauders were broken, a friendship they had sworn would never end. And now his relationship with Ginny was broken. He knew it, even then. He shouldn't have slept with her, not when he knew he couldn't be with her. But she was so addicting. He couldn't say no.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin'_

_Or the moment of truth in your lies_

_When everything feels like the movies_

_Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_

Harry felt almost like he wanted to cry, but tears wouldn't come. He felt like he should be trying to fight back tears, but there weren't any there. And then he realized something else. He tried to tell himself that if he distanced himself from Ginny, he would help them both, he would keep her from Voldemort's view, and he would keep his mind clear of any worry for her. But in truth, whether he was officially "with" Ginny or not, he would always love her, and therefore she would always be in danger from Voldemort, plus, she was a Weasley, and the Weasley's were now known as one of biggest anti-Voldemort families. And he would always think of Ginny, no matter where he was or what he was doing, she would always be on his mind. He would never be able to forget her, even for a minute. And at that moment his life felt like a movie, a drama. Nothing really seemed real. He remembered the last time he had felt that way, and looked down at the pale underside of his wrist. Three narrow, vertical, slashes ran up it. It had been his first night back at the Dursley's, he had just lost Dumbledore, and let go of Ginny. He felt hollow, he didn't feel real, he didn't feel alive. And so he had taken an old pocket knife that had once belonged to Dudley, and ran it down his wrist, watching to see if he would bleed, to check if he was still alive.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

'_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

He thought of everything that had happened in his life, all the good, all the bad. He thought of the only memory he had from living with his parents; a flash of green light and the screams and yells of his parents. He thought of his life as a young child, and how the Dursley's had abused him, locking him in the cupboard under the stairs, making him their slave. He thought of their fruitless attempt to escape the letters from Hogwarts. He thought of his first day at Hogwarts, of meeting Ron. He thought of how he and Ron had befriended Hermione. He thought of his second year, and how he had saved Ginny. He went through all of his years at Hogwarts, in his mind he relived all of his adventures, his sorrows, his triumphs, his failures. He remembered everything he could. He thought of who he was, he thought of how he should really be called _the-boy-who-no-one-actually-knew_, he thought of his broken life, he thoughtof those he wished really knew him.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

'_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

His life rushing through his brain, tears came to Harry's eyes. All of his sorrows, all of his pains, they all seemed to finally catch up at him. He looked down at his little red haired love, and vowed that he would never let anything happen to her. He would never let her get hurt. He vowed that he would kill Voldemort once and for all. He vowed that he wouldn't let anymore families, any more lives be torn apart by him. His tears began to fall, and one soon fell on the face of his Ginny, waking her.

"Harry?" She asked. "What's wrong?"

_And I don't want the world to see me_

'_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

Harry grabbed the younger teen, and squeezed her tight. "Ginny," he said, "I promise you, I'll never let anything bad happen to you, I'll never let any one hurt you. Know that I love you Ginny, and that I always will. Please know that."

"I know, Harry, I know," Ginny replied. "I've always known that. What's the matter?"

"I can't let him hurt anymore people Ginny," Harry answered. "I've got to go and face him, I've got to go and kill him. And I have to do it as soon as I can, before he can hurt any more people. I have to leave. Tonight."

"And I can't come, can I?" Ginny asked, with a wry smile.

"I can't risk you getting hurt," Harry replied, looking deeply into her warm hazel eyes. "I care too much about you, I love you too much. I love you Ginny, and I can't lose you."

"I love you too Harry," Ginny replied. "And I understand that you have to go. I understand that we can't be together." Now tears were running down her face as well. "I know that right now you have to be able to go off and save the world. But promise that you'll come back to me."

"I promise Ginny," Harry whispered. "And when I do, will you be mine, forever?"

"Of course," Ginny said with a smile. "And when that happens, I'll finally learn all of the intricacies of Harry Potter."

"I want you to know who I am Ginny." Harry said. "I want that more then anything in the world."

They began to kiss, and for the second time that day, shared themselves with one another in the most intimate way possible for lovers who truly love one another.

**The Next Day**

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

Harry stood in front of the graves of his two parents, where his old house had once stood. These were two more people he wished knew who he was, but never would be able to. It would have to suffice that Ginny would get to find out, Ron and Hermione too. He never quite told them all of everything, but after this war was over, he would. He would tell them everything. They would know who he was. He would never want the whole world to know all of him, some of it was too personal. But there was one thing that the whole world could know, and it was that Harry Potter was a fiercely loving, determined, good, brave, strong man, who would never stop until he had fulfilled his destiny.

The black haired man rose from his position kneeling on the ground and walked over to where his two best friends stood.

"Come on," he said, beckoning to them. "It's time to end this, once and for all."


End file.
